Dads and their daughters dating
Anyone who’s tried and failed to get married reads that simplicity with at least a little bit of longing. Wait for the day dad sends her to Minneapolis on a camel? While we can certainly learn about love and marriage from Isaac and Rebekah, I don’t think God intended it to be a manual for getting married in twenty-first-century America.
I do think, though, that we may be facing greater evils in our Christian homes today than handpicking fathers.
Completely apart from Isaac, Abraham sends another guy off to find his son a wife.
Some code words and a camel ride later, Isaac and Rebekah are tented and covenanted in love.
Nothing will help you discern if this young man can love your daughter more clearly than a relationship.
And nothing will be better for him long term, whether or not he marries her.
It actually makes for a dangerous situation because God means for spiritual headship and leadership to be a more seamless handoff, not this disjointed affair that leaves the young woman spiritually and emotionally uncovered from age fifteen until her wedding day.
We’ve relegated dads to a last-minute interview before engagement when God meant for them to be active, available agents of wisdom and safekeeping. Foolish dads relish the gun-bearing, tough-guy role.
What if these dads leaned into these young men at this point? The moment is a mountain to overcome in almost any relationship, but I believe it’s a mountain we, as Christians, can capture for the good of the daughter, the suitor, and the father.But as good as ideal sounds, it’s hard to find that picture in the Bible, and ultimately it’s far too simple for most not-yet-married realities anyways. What if she’s still single at 25, 30, maybe even 40?If you talk to some Christian dads of daughters, you’d think every young man was a drug lord, pimp, or terrorist. Dad might have the perception that every man is a walking caricature of the most discouraging trends today: laziness, selfishness, sexual immorality, entitlement, and worse.dad might have an unbalanced or unfair standard: the guy who graduated top of his class at the age of eleven, started his own business, built the brand-new building for his church, and single-handedly rescued a third-world country from a corrupt regime (or something like that).
At the same time, remember that even with the “good guy” a resume can’t replace some regular contact.